#WomenInMenFields: My Take

Have you seen the Tiktok trend? This article is not about women breaking stereotypes and excelling in jobs or industries traditionally dominated by men. Instead, this is my hot take on how societal norms and dynamics have shifted towards a reversal in gender roles and behaviours in relationships and social interactions.

Certain behaviours such as infidelity, emotional detachment and manipulation were once associated, stereotypically with men. Movements like #MenAreTrash used to dominate our conversations, discussing instances of toxic masculinity, gender-based violence and the harm men used to cause women in society and relationships.

We heard countless stories about men cheating, gaslighting and dismissing women’s feelings, all backed by a lack of accountability from men, and excuses made for them by society. Phrases like “boys will be boys” or “it is just in their nature” and other reasons were brought up setting the bar so low that women were made to believe that the bare minimum is the standard to expect and accept from men.

Times have changed! Women are slowly stepping into these “men fields” of behavior and I am convinced that it is because for a long time, men failed to reflect, take accountability and take care of women in society and in relationships. At the end all that was left was for women to assume these roles and serve men the dishes they were served. If you can’t beat them, join them, right?

Traditionally, men were seen as and believed to be providers, protectors and leaders in relationships while exerting dominance while women were home-makers and sources of emotional support for men, practicing submission. However, men’s failure to uphold these standards led to women to compensate and eventually mirror those behaviours and roles traditionally associated with men.

Think about it: women faced and endured so much emotional neglect and an eroded sense of safety in relationships that they built walls and lost trust in men, ultimately adopting behaviours of self-preservation and detachment that the gender roles of relationships became increasingly blurred. With infidelity and lying as the hallmarks of male behavior instead of loyalty and integrity, women steadily learned the same tactics to avoid being “outplayed”. Now, we have men claiming there are no “real women” left. To that I say: don’t hate the player, hate the game!

A new era, but is it women empowerment?

Is this trend a new form of women empowerment? I think not. While I am somewhat proud of women standing up for themselves, this shift is drifting us all further away from happy relationships, secure homes and romantic love that feels safe. As much as I see it as a defense mechanism, women have turned into instigators to avoid being victimized, which only creates a new problem which is cycles of mutual harm. It is disappointing and heartbreaking to see the potential for healthy relationships slipping away as we mirror the very behaviors that once hurt us. We have shifted from Men are trash, to what I like to call “Men are trash and women are evil”.

Can we break the cycle?

To advocate for mutual respect, emotional intelligence, and reverting back to respecting traditional values and roles in our relationships could be a good solution, but in an ideal world. The reality is that we are trapped in this game of hurt, and I wonder how long we will be stuck in this tit-for-tat loop that is perpetuating hurt on both sides. Do you think there is a way in which we can break free from this loop? Who is the bigger player, men or women? And how can we reverse the hurt cycle and start healing?

I personally lay the blame for this unfortunate cycle of hurt on men for instigating it, but I also challenge us as women to pause and reflect. Are we perpetuating harm all in the name of survival? And for both men and women, how can we find better ways to reclaim love, respect, and harmony in relationships?

The floor is yours, what do you think?