Journeying from the comfort zone to the growth zone.

The worst thing that can happen to a dreamer is being stuck in their comfort zone.

In her book Danger in the comfort zone (1991), author and influential speaker Judith Bardwick gives this description of the comfort zone.

“The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk.”

Continue reading if you want to get my personal view and experience on my journey from my comfort zone to my growth zone.

Most posts and articles I have read about comfort zones say that people stay in their comfort zones because they feel safe so they try to avoid feelings of anxiety, stress or pain.

Contrary to said articles, I don't think we are always anxiety-free, safe or in control in our comfort zones. I believe there are uncomfortable comfort zones.

An uncomfortable comfort zone is a behavioural state where one stays in an anxious condition to avoid a more anxious condition.

An example of an uncomfortable comfort zone could be staying in a relationship where one is unhappy or unsafe because the thought of being single or missing the person seems more uncomfortable to them.

The truth that reigns in all these articles however is that if you want change, you need to step out of the comfort zone. Regardless of whether you are in the safe comfort zone or the uncomfortable comfort zone, nothing changes in the comfort zone unfortunately.

In my journey, I have been in situations where I did want change but I was working on the wrong thing and consequently felt stuck despite my efforts. Feelings of fear, inadequacy and feeling undeserving or unqualified are common factors that keep us frozen in our comfort-zones.

I have learned that sometimes these feelings can come to us disguised as rational feelings or common problems. This keeps us from feeling like any action is necessary or leads us to taking steps to fixing the problem it is masked as instead.

For instance the fear of inadequacy can come disguised as the common "not knowing how to take compliments". This is an example I relate to because I used to feel so uncomfortable with compliments but I would usually hear people around me say that they do not know how to take compliments as well so I never felt like it was something that needed action from me.

It wasn't until I looked inward that I realised it wasn't that I didn't know how to take compliments, I just didn't know how to react to them because I never believed them. And it was a problem with compliments in angles of my life, be it in my work, my physical appearance or skills because I always felt inadequate and not good enough.

Not being able to receive compliments is a common thing that is easy to work on but inadequacy is a different level of work required. Being able to identify these things is so important on our growth journey because that's how I got from working on taking compliments to working on identifying and eradicating thoughts that bred feelings of inadequacy from my life.

Action is always necessary to start seeing a change in your life and that's how you get out of your comfort zone. I think everybody who wants to live a full life should get out of their comfort zones but once you do, you are not yet in your growth zone. This whole thing is a process like the one outlined below.

Source: PositivePsychology.com

I have gotten out of my comfort zone in so many aspects of my life but I am not yet at my growth zone. After seasons of staying in my comfort zone, then trying to get out and failing, then going through a process of self-reflection and bypassing the fear zone, I am finally in my learning zone and it's the best season I have ever been in so far in life.

At this stage you really believe in yourself despite the hurdles life throws at you and you develop a can't stop won't stop mentality. It becomes really great to see yourself deal with hurdles differently. Instead of crumbling you keep your chin up and hold onto what you believe.

I am learning at this stage that first of all, it is important to go slow. At first I used to try to go hard but I realised that my performance would decline when I overwhelmed myself and that would lead me to fall back into anxiety and back into my comfort zone at times.

Secondly it is important to appreciate myself for taking the steps even if I might fall back into my comfort zone or fear zone because practicing such compassion with myself is a great source of motivation to keep going.

Telling myself that I am proud of myself for even running on the treadmill for 10 mins goes a long way in motivating myself to go back to the gym the next day.

Another thing I love about the learning zone is the discovery that once you really start taking the steps and being gentle with yourself, you build consistency and your comfort zone really does adjust!

And while maybe like me, you didn't start your journey feeling safe and in control in some aspects of your life like how most articles describe the comfort zone, I learned that you get out of your comfort zone or any situation by taking control.

Instead of being controlled by your feelings, you begin to take control of them, and your life to a point where feelings such as guilt of staying stagnant propel you to continue working on yourself instead of adding to your anxiety.

That means feelings like fear, anxiety, laziness, uncertainty, procrastination,complacency and even opinions of others will no longer have a hold on you. They can come visit once in a while but they don't control your actions and that is such a great space to be in.

So whatever you are trying to grow into or out of, this is your sign to start working or keep working and develop your can't stop won't stop mentality. It may feel unfamiliar at times but keep walking through the unfamiliarity. The goal is to get to our growth zones to start living our dreams!!!